Fire and Ice

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say it will end in ice
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if I had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

-Robert Frost

Two

If you take me back
Back to your place
I'll try not to bother you I promise
'Cause it's cold in here
And I wish it was hot
The sink's broke, it's leaking from the faucet
And I'm fractured from the fall
And i wanna go home
But it takes two when it used to take one
It takes two when it used to take only one
Well, my money's no good when i'm up to no good
No good ever comes from it, honest
I got a really good heart
I just can't catch a break
If i could I'd treat you like you wanted me to i promise
But I'm fractured from the fall
And i wanna go home
I'm fractured from the fall
And i wanna go home
But it takes two when it used to take one
It takes two when it used to take one
It takes two when it used to take only one

Favorites....

Here are some of my current favorite quotes that seem to be applying to my life:

"He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still” --Lao Tzu

"Only a person open to others can commune with, relate to or build up another person. Openness is the mark of the spirit. Being-in-openness is being in freedom, being capable of the love the transfigures the whole universe." -- Leonardo Boff

"I may be loves bitch but at least I'm man enough to admit it." -- Joss Whedon

"Real loss is only possible when you love something more then you love yourself." --Good Will Hunting

"Destiny is something we've invented because we can't stand the fact that everything that happens is an accident." --Sleepless in Seatle

"When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." --When Harry Met Sally

"A life without love is no life at all." --Leonardo DaVinci

"Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle." --Plato

"Nothing can bring you peace but yourself." --Ralph Waldo Emerson

"She loves me for the best reason of all...no reason at all." --Jack

"If we could live without passion maybe we'd know some kind of peace but we'd be hallow. Without passion we'd truly be dead." -- Joss Whedon

"Purpose doesn't last and regret can burn a hole through any happiness." --Irv

"Love isn't brains, it's blood." --Joss Whendon

"Anything that's going to be good is going to have a struggle." --P.Diddy

These are words of wisdom that I've collected through the years but at the same time they all apply to a relationship I have right now in my life. It's funny how blind people are to who they are and how much these words are needed. If I could put blinking lights around some of these quotes I would and big arrows pointing at them for certain people. Especially the one from Good Will Hunting.

Found: One Amazing Old Friend

Today I got the best phone call a person can get from my college roommate Ryan. She randomly called me because she's shopping for her wedding dress and was remembering a time when we went shopping for wedding dresses in college....just because...yeah that's right...we did it. Ok it was my idea.

ANYWAY...It was the best conversation ever. Ryan is the type of person who you can just pick up the phone and call after months and months of not talking and it feels like you just saw her five minutes ago. She's loyal and supportive and an amazing friend. We laughed together about old times and talked about things going on now.

I miss our times living together and running into each other in the living room. I remember us convincing our other roommate to skip class and going to Sonic for Cherry Limeades and hot dogs together. We laughed about the day we met, at Orientation before Freshmen year ever started. We were roommates in the dorm overnight and kept in touch, ,we stayed close friends all through Freshmen year and moved in together Sophomore year. Wonderful times.

I absolutely love hearing her voice and it reminded me that I'm not alone. Even when I think I am...even when I'm sitting here in my room alone for hours, I'm not alone. My oldest most dearest friends are there for me all the time. I hope we get to talk more. Because I love having her as my friend!

Oh and it made me go back and look at old pictures of us and I'm getting a bunch of them scanned and put on CD so I'll put some up.

Go

For all the love we've made
Just one thing stays the same
The lamp gets dusty
The pipes get rusty
But I don't want to wash my hands clean

You say you love me too
Then why won't you go through
With the nightly kisses
With the hits and the misses
If you can make it on your own then

Go if you want to go
But stay if you want to know
The way through the mess we've made
And lie in a bed you know
Or go

I heard your moving van
But I didn't take a stand
You can't leave with them
You can't live without them
I never thought I'd want to let you

Go if you want to go
But stay if you want to know
The way through the mess we've made
And lie in a bed you know
Or go

For all the love we've made
Just one thing stays the same
The lamp gets dusty
The pipes get rusty
But I don't want to wash my hands clean

You say you love me too
Then why won't you go through
With the nightly kisses
With the hits and the misses
If you can make it on your own then

Go if you want to go
But stay if you want to know
The way through the mess we've made
And lie in a bed you know
Or go

Home Again!

Well I'm finally done and after a quick stop over in Atlanta I'll be home in Jacksonville for two weeks! At this moment I'm in ATL but I'm leaving tomorrow morning early. I have so much to do in just one day here I have no idea if I'll get it all done. I totally missed Trivia last night :( but I was so tired.

Let me just tell you all how well I slept in my bed last night!! It was amazing! I can't believe I'm done!

My internship was so amazing. Jeff was such a wonderful supervisor and he gave me so much great advise as well as lots of great resources. I brought back with me so many great books and a new robe which I'm so proud of! I wanted to stay so badly but I was starting to get really home sick. I can't wait to be back in Jacksonville tomorrow!!! There are so many things I'm going to do with my family before heading back to school. I am going to eat at all my favorite restaurants and shop with my mom and dad. I can't wait to see my kitty cats and oh yeah my parents too haha.

Thank you to all my friends who read my blogs over the summer I have tons of pictures to show you and hopefully I'll see you all soon. I'm going to keep this blog up and start writing about my school year. Hebrew and Theology experiences to come! More later!

Almost Done!

Well my internship is drawing to a close. I have a week and a half left and then I'm done. I can't believe how fast this summer has gone by. I have so much to do in the next few days it's crazy! My supervisor wants me to go and visit people that are shut in. I'd love to! I just have no idea when I'll have the time to do it. Especially since I'm preaching next weekend!

This weekend we're doing a service outside at the lake. I'm excited because it's going to be different and Jeff is planning everything so I can literally sit around and work on other stuff while he's doing that there's just a lot of other stuff to do!!

And now the purpose of this blog...

Yesterday I saw the most funny commercial on TV ever!! And I tried to call everyone to tell them about it but no one was answering their phones! So I am now writing a blog about it. So it's a commercial for a drug to help with "Restless Leg Syndrome" ok whatever I have no idea what that is. So they talk and talk on and on about this drug and then of course like all commercials for drugs they list the side affects. So I'm sitting there not really paying attention until they say..."Contact your doctor if you experience: headaches, drowsiness or severe compulsion to gamble." I like stopped what I was doing and seriously went "Did they just say that drug can bring about compulsion to gamble???" And then I start cracking up because you know a million people in Vegas just picked up a phone! I have no idea what to think about this drug but I can't wait to see the commercial again!! hahahaha!

Preaching out of control!!

So this week I am all alone in the office. Jeff is out of town and won't be back Sunday so I have to do everything on my own. I'm not too worried though. I got to looking at the scriptures and found that I have "The Friend at Midnight" from Luke. I realize that I will have done 2 Luke sermons but Jeff always does his from the Letters or the OT so we've sort of gotten into a rhythmn. I'm actually pretty excited about my sermon because I think I'm going to talk about Les Meserables!! Now if you know me you know that Les Meserables is one of my favorite books/stories. I love it. I'm going to use it as my illustration to go along with the ask, seek, knock moral of the story about prayer. Hopefully I can work it in there well.

So my last sermon is coming up! August 12th in two weeks is the last time I'll be preaching and I do not think I am going to preach the lectionary. I think I am going to dedicate the last two weeks of my internship to putting together a great last sermon. I have thought long and hard about what it might be and I think I've decided on Ruth. Truthfully Ruth is one of my favorite books of the Bible. Simply because it is just so beautiful and full of true dedication and love. I have a good friend who is getting married next year and she has asked me to do the wedding. I think I'd just love to preach about Ruth then as well. I've also been asked to preach at my home church! I'm so excited. My family is going to be there with me and I can't wait to share this experience with them.

Well back to the grind, I'm baking cupcakes today for my Bible Study tonight! Two more weeks and then I'm back to Jacksonville!

Harry Potter and the Bane of My Exsistance.

Of course as you all know the final Harry Potter book has come out and within 10 hours of it's release it was already causing me problems.

I am not a Harry fan. I've seen all the movies and I like them but I haven't read any of the books. Well I take that back. When the first book came out many years ago my mom bought it for my sister who didn't read it. But mom read it and loved it so she made me read it and I did not love it. I don't really like fantasy that way. So I have yet to read any of the other books. Sorry everyone who is very disappointed in me!

I think Harry is great though. I mean great for kids. All the adults out there who are flipping out over it, calm down. One of my favorite TV shows "Best Week Ever" said it pretty clearly when they said that adults are ruining Harry Potter for kids. I totally agree. Especially the adults who stood me up Saturday morning to read instead of meet with me over something really important. Oh did I mention they called me 20 minutes AFTER the time we were supposed to meet to tell me they were reading instead? Yeah, so uncool.

So I went to Wal Mart, picked up the book and read the Epilogue. Don't worry I'm not going to spoil it for you!! Geez I'm not that mean but I am just going to say remember ADULTS it's a KIDS book. Name one Fairy Tale that has ended tragically! People have spent months and months wondering if Harry was going to die, if Ron was going to die, bla bla bla I just don't think it's worth it to worry that much! It's a kids book!

Alright I'm done I'm not going to ruin anything for anyone. Happy reading to all of my friends who have dedicated their lives to this book. Sorry it's finally over and you'll never be able to buy a book at midnight again. But there are still two movies to come out! That should help you feel a little better.

In the news...

So many of you might know that I read the news a lot. When I worked for Starbucks I got the paper for free which was amazing but now that I am a poor student I have to read the news online. So I frequent AOL.com and CNN.com everyday browsing through the latest headlines. I read just about everything I can find from entertainment to world news to people dying on amusement park rides. I have a love for the news, especially news online because it's fast and easy.

Today I have a few comments on the headlining stories. Because I've read them all 2 or 3 times each and I'm struggling with how frustrating some of them are!

First, the Archdioceses of Los Angeles (Catholic Church) is about to shell out $660 million dollars to 508 people who are victims of clergy abuse. 508 people is about 508 too many people! I'm so amazed and bewildered as to how this happened. They even interviewed a random Catholic woman who said she is seriously reconsidering whether clergy should be allowed to marry because of this. The Catholic Church doesn't bother me. I mean I've been to several services and a couple weddings and yeah they're different and they have a whole bunch of rules that probably aren't necessary but at the same time, Catholics don't bother me. This bothers me though. It makes me sad. It makes me look at my chosen profession and think that I have it easy in some ways.

Second, the Phillies have become the only sports team in history to lose 10,000 games. Not nearly as severe as the clergy story but then again if you're a Phillies fan...

---> Side note the other day I met a guy with the last name Bowden. I was with Jeff. The minute Jeff said his last name I lit up like a Christmas Tree, Jeff laughed so hard. The guy totally did not get the reference but it was still the funniest thing EVER!

Third, the new Harry Potter movie made a lot of money over the weekend. Is anyone surprised? I saw it last Thursday it was great! I liked the 4th one the best so far but this one was still good. I caught an interview with Daniel Radcliff last night on Larry King he seems to hope he'll be in for the last two movies. Me too. Why stop now? I think a ton of people would be REALLY mad if they ditched him so I say keep him. If they're going to keep the other two they may as well keep him!

Fourth, Isaiah Washington has a new show (Formally, Dr. Preston Burke). I'm glad for him it's time to move on past this whole mess but it does bother me a lot the things that he's saying about his career on Grey's. Get over it. You screwed up big time and then you had the chance to come back and you screwed up again. You're out Buddy! I'm not surprised the fired him, I am sad about Christina and Burke's wedding :(

Fifth, I can't stand Elizabeth Hasselbeck!!! She is my new Kelly Ripa! One of my roommates in college used to watch Regis and Kelly every morning before class and man Kelly drove me insane. Kelly officially does not bother me anymore, Elizabeth Hesselbeck is my new annoyance on TV. That girl really rubs me the wrong way!!! I can't say that I'm a huge Rosie O'Donnell fan. You know I like her and she's liberal so I like that but she does say some pretty harsh things. So this is not an Elizabeth vs. Rosie thing here. I really just do not like Elizabeth.

In other news Lindsey Lohan is out of rehab! Whew! I was worried. Britney Spears bought a new dog....why does she need dogs? She has two kids. I'm just saying....that's a lot of work.

Prayers to Japan! They suffered a major earthquake!

Harry Potter and Preaching.

Ok so I'm going to see Harry Potter today by myself. I love going to the movies by myself. It always works out so well. I love being able to sit where ever I want and take up as much room as I want and leave when I want. I know it sounds pathetic but I really love it. When I want to see a movie I just go. I think going to the movies by yourself is a big step in your life. It's one that we should all take. It's not like grocery shopping or going to Target....or is it? If you can go to Target to get toilet paper on your own, can't you go to the movies on your own? I mean no one can see you in the movie theater! Hello no one even knows you're by yourself!! And who cares if they do? So you went to the movies by yourself big deal. You wanted to see this movie and you didn't feel like searching for someone else to go with you so you just went. I think that rocks!

I'm preaching this Sunday on the Good Samaritan and I'm pumped. I've had my sermon written for about a week now I taught a class about it last night it went really well. I'm excited. It's going to be great!

Good Samaritan

Well preaching again is slowly approaching. July 15th is the day! I picked it randomly and ended up with the Good Samaritan as my text. I was pretty shocked when I read it. Everyone loves this story and it's pretty easy to preach about. Which means that I want to preach about something new and different. But how far can we really go with this text? I don't want to go so far that I've come up with something silly but I do want to stretch it.
After talking with a friend about it we came to the conclusion that there are very few "Samaritans" today. There aren't too many people who we consider outcasts.
I think this is very true but at the same time "we" as a society might not like to outcast people but we as individuals do it all the time. It's sad really how much hate or dislike a lot of us have in our hearts. These are just the thoughts I'll be pondering as I dig my way through my text for the next couple weeks!

Montreat how I love thee...

I was so excited to get to spend the last few days in Montreat. The weather was beautiful and so were the mountains. I love Montreat I am so lucky to have gone there for youth conferences when I was in High School.

In other news I preached last weekend. It went really well and I'm happy with how my sermon turned out. I will be preaching again on July 15th which is sooner then I thought. I got some great compliments on my last sermon but I haven't met with my committee yet so I don't know what they really think just yet. This weekend I'm doing the children's sermon which is an actual sermon here. It's more like the children's message then anything else but I'm still pretty nervous. I hope I make a point and I hope what I say can relate to the scripture as well as the Baptism that we'll be doing. I'm also excited to be helping with a Baptism. I don't know exactly what I'll be doing just yet but we'll see!
I really like the congregation and the area where I'm working. However the other day I went to a meeting for VBS with Jeff and it didn't go so well. Here several churches of all denominations do it together so I went to one of the planning meetings. Apparently before this meeting they were all told that I would be there every single night and willing to help out with anything and everything which is not what Jeff and I discussed. In fact we agreed that I wouldn't be working with kids at all. When I clarified that to them they took it as me not liking kids and not wanting to work with them. I feel so bad for what I said and horrible that anyone would think I didn't like kids. The worst part is not only did they take it that way but they told other people that too. So now there is like this giant rumor going around other churches that I don't like kids! Of course my congregation knows that's not true and Jeff of course knows it's not true. He even said if it gets back to him he's going to shut it down immediately and is really sorry that it got taken the wrong way. I still feel bad and tomorrow I have to go help them set up for VBS which means the whole time they're all going to be thinking the wrong thing about me!
It's hard when people don't understand my job or the goals of my job. They think that I'm a minister and should be willing to do everything all the time and while I like the fact that I am considered a minister already I'm not and I'm really not ready to assume all that responsibility. I'm still learning and that above and beyond anything else it what I want them to know and understand.
Other then my misunderstanding things are going great and I'm really happy. I hope to have some more pictures of Pulaski. I have a day off coming up and I want to go to and overlook and take some great shots. Miss all my friends!

This morning I went to Jeff's house to do some laundry. While taking a side road back to the church I passed by this school on a hill and behind it were the mountains. This is something I don't see everyday and it amazes me that this is how I'm spending my summer. It's a really foggy and overcast day which makes the mountains look especially blue today! I love it!!

Pulpit Time!

So the church bought me a robe which totally rocks!! I'm so excited every time I put it on....which by the way is more then once haha. I love it! I'm so excited that things are going well. Jeff is really cool and he pretty much lets me figure out what I need and what I want to do. He's always offering to take me places and show me things but at the same time he's really laid back. I read scripture this past Sunday in church and Jeff marked it for me in the big Bible up front but he totally marked it wrong. So I got up there, first time in front of this church to read and the scripture is marked wrong!! Good thing I had read it a couple times before I got up there so I could flip to it quickly. It was funny and everyone laughed it off. I'm preaching this week and I'll admit the lectionary text is driving me crazy!! More later I'll let you all know how it went!

Jessi

Day Off

I have the day off today! I'm pretty excited because I've been working my butt off and I really do want some time to myself to just chill out and watch TV. I decided to take a walk downtown and find some fun places to hang out. I started out on my little walk and took some pictures as I went. I was really looking for this place called "Coffee By the Book." I didn't know if it was a coffee shop or a book store. Turns out it's a book store that has internet (yay!) and drip coffee which I can live with because it's very cheap. I signed up for a membership so I can drop in and drink coffee and use internet whenever I want! Woohoo.

So here's how my week has been going. I spent Monday and Wednesday at the hospital visiting congregation members. Wow. This is my first experience with Pastoral Care and it's been very eye opening. I know that when I actually have to do my CPE I won't be visiting people that I know or know their whole back story before I want into the room so that makes a little bit of a difference. I'm happy to be meeting and helping people and I have walked out of a few rooms holding back tears but I keep thinking something that a very wise friend said to me, my grief takes away from their grief and it's really about them. She was very right. So I've held myself together and pushed on.

I'm preaching on June 17th and I'm very excited!! I sat down with my committee for my SM210 yesterday and talked with him about how they can help me and how they can pay attention to my sermons and what to be looking for. I have such a wonderful group of people working with me! I know I'm going to learn a lot.

So far, so good. I don't have any SM210 griefs so I consider myself lucky! I hope everyone is doing well.

Above are some pictures of the church, my apartment and the town.

Adventures in Pulaski...the journey begins

So here I am in Pulaski, Va. I've been here since Saturday afternoon. The first thing I did was meet up with my supervisor at his house and have dinner with his family. He has three kids: 9, 5 & 4. A boy and two girls. They are crazy!! They're so energetic and not in the least bit shy. They immediately introduced me to their cat "Sugar" whom they sort of adopted. We had a "kid friendly" dinner complete with macaroni and cheese (YUM). Jeff (supervisor) then took me to my apartment and I got settled in.



My APT: I love it! I have cable and it's the PERFECT size for just little old me. I have a couch (which I don't have at seminary so I'm excited about that) and a kitchen table and a great size kitchen. The apartment has not been used by the church even though it's owned by a member of the church so all the appliances are new. Never been used. New fridge, stove and microwave. The coffee maker is probably older then I am but it works and they even bought me Starbucks coffee to brew (how sweet!). So I'm very happy. The apartment is probably as old as the one I lived in in Jacksonville so it's great and works out really well. The only real downside is that the bed is super mushy which I'm not used to but I sleep well and hard!

Church: I could throw a rock and hit it! It's so close! I walk there every morning and yesterday I forgot my coffee so I walked back home, grabbed it and made it back in under 5 minutes. My office is in the manse upstairs and I have a really nice view. My committee for my internship is great Jeff even made sure there is a youth on the committee which I totally appreciate.

Town: Pulaski is small. No really, it's like, 10 major blocks, and 2 major roads. I walked here to the library today. I'm really excited that I found some internet and it's only a walking distance away. I LOVE that I can walk everywhere. To tell you the truth it's about 50 times safer then walking everywhere in Jacksonville and there's no telling how much safer it is then Atlanta!!

So far: I did some hospital visits yesterday which was my first experience with pastoral care. It was ok. I'm actually really proud of myself and how I handled it and how well it went. I was a little nervous but I really like Jeff a lot and he was there with me the whole time. I was happy just to get the experience and exposure. I actually plan on dropping by to visit the people we saw again soon.

There's actually a lot to tell but I'm going to wait until I have some pictures to put up. I didn't know if there would be wireless internet at the library when I walked over here so I didn't bring any. The town is beautiful and I'm having a great time. I miss everyone a lot but I especially miss how spoiled I am in Atlanta with the shopping and the internet! Haha! Oh well a summer without internet won't kill me :)

<3 Jessi

Ah No Internet!!

Ok so tragedy! I have no internet here at the church or in my apartment! But do not worry, updates will be happening I just have to figure out when and where. I went and plugged in to the internet router in the office next door which is not ours. I do hear that there is a great coffee house with internet here in town but I have yet to have some free time. So updates are coming!

Love you all and miss you much!

Jessi

This summer

Today is the 20th and I don't leave for my internship until June 2nd. I'm going to be writing blogs all summer so everyone can keep up with me! Until then...