It amazing me sometimes the things we let fester within our hearts, minds, and souls. It amazes me every time I discover that I, myself, have done this again. My entire life I have needed to say it out loud. I have needed to let it out. What ever "it" might be I will allow it to say in me because I've always thought I might be doing it wrong. I might not know what I'm doing. I am so horrible at what I'm doing I may as well try something knew so this time I'll just bottle "it" up and not say a word. Others do this around me too and I am in awe of people when they finally "say it out loud."
Today I had the experience of listening to someone say it out loud. Anything I was feeling about that person before they said it changed the second after they said it. Not because of what they said but because did it. I kind of wanted to cheer for them. Even though what they said wasn't great and the truth that came out was a little ugly because it was about loss, it was about hurt, and somehow this involved me.
It's amazing to me how things change when you say them out loud. And I'd like to marinate in that idea for awhile....
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Stress Levels Are High
So as my last semester of seminary hits its mid-way point and begins to move to a close my stress levels have been through the roof. At a yearly doctors appointment a few weeks ago I was told my blood pressure was up (first time ever) and I was showing signs of early hypertension. I wanted to look at the doctor and say, "Remember your last semester of medical school? I'm so there." I've even started noticing that my vision is spotty because I'm pretty sure my eyes are tired from reading and starring at a computer screen.
The call process is not easy. It's like dating and playing the stock market at the same time. Needless to say I think I'm lucky to be escaping with slightly high blood pressure and fatigue.
Amidst all this my car is breathing its last breaths and is ready to retire.
You and me both Layla (car's name).
I was feeling the pressure so hard today that I had to take a long walk and ended up calling my sister at work and venting, something I've been doing a lot this week. This is mainly because my parents are on a cruise and I can't bug them. And then just as I collapsed on my couch (the wonderful couch I inherited from Whitney) my phone rang. It was my amazing parents who were at port on St. Thomas island. My dad asked how things were going and I said, "Dad I don't want to ruin your trip but I've had an awful week." I told him everything and then talked to mom and they assured me that everything would be alright they will help me figure out the car situation when they got home.
After I got off the phone with them I started to think about my stress. Sometimes I think I forget how lucky of a person I am. Of all the things I don't have, I DO have a wonderful family. I have amazing parents who will call me while on their vacation and talk me down off a ledge. I have a beautiful and smart sister who would walk through fire for me any day and who cheers me up when I'm feeling sad. I don't NEED a lot because I have a lot. I'm so lucky to have a wonderful place like Florida where I can go for Spring Break and spend quality time with my family and just relax.
During Lent we're supposed to reflect and think about the sacrifice that was made for us in Christ. I'd also like to reflect this year about the many things I have been blessed with in my life. I am also so lucky to have my wonderful friends who stand by me, support me, love me and understand me when I know its hard sometimes. Especially when they have their own stress. If Lent is about reflecting I'll happily reflect about all my blessings.
The call process is not easy. It's like dating and playing the stock market at the same time. Needless to say I think I'm lucky to be escaping with slightly high blood pressure and fatigue.
Amidst all this my car is breathing its last breaths and is ready to retire.
You and me both Layla (car's name).
I was feeling the pressure so hard today that I had to take a long walk and ended up calling my sister at work and venting, something I've been doing a lot this week. This is mainly because my parents are on a cruise and I can't bug them. And then just as I collapsed on my couch (the wonderful couch I inherited from Whitney) my phone rang. It was my amazing parents who were at port on St. Thomas island. My dad asked how things were going and I said, "Dad I don't want to ruin your trip but I've had an awful week." I told him everything and then talked to mom and they assured me that everything would be alright they will help me figure out the car situation when they got home.
After I got off the phone with them I started to think about my stress. Sometimes I think I forget how lucky of a person I am. Of all the things I don't have, I DO have a wonderful family. I have amazing parents who will call me while on their vacation and talk me down off a ledge. I have a beautiful and smart sister who would walk through fire for me any day and who cheers me up when I'm feeling sad. I don't NEED a lot because I have a lot. I'm so lucky to have a wonderful place like Florida where I can go for Spring Break and spend quality time with my family and just relax.
During Lent we're supposed to reflect and think about the sacrifice that was made for us in Christ. I'd also like to reflect this year about the many things I have been blessed with in my life. I am also so lucky to have my wonderful friends who stand by me, support me, love me and understand me when I know its hard sometimes. Especially when they have their own stress. If Lent is about reflecting I'll happily reflect about all my blessings.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Reason's Why "Don't Stop Believin'" is NOT Making a Come Back...
**Disclaimer** I'd first like to say that I do not mean to insult anyone, I am a firm believer in music and how it touches the soul, I am not however, a fan of Journey. Sorry Journey-lovers.
I would also like to say that after a few enlightening blogs, I felt the need to voice my opinions about silly-ness. I needed a mental break.
And now my reasons:
1. The song is actually "Don't Stop Believing" with the 'g' on the end. Sorry folks, it actually loses about 10 catchy points for correct grammar.
2. It's about NOTHING. Don't stop believing in what??? Love? A small town girl and a city boy? The midnight train? What are we not believing?
3. This is not a love song people. I think it's actually being confused with a love song.
4. This is not a dance song either. It's an 80's song and trust me when I say there are far better 80's songs.
5. Just because VH1 claims its the 11th best 80's song (in 2006) does NOT mean it is. This is the same network that brought us Flavor of Love and Charm School.....need I say more?
6. This song does not get better the more times you play it. Playing it in different settings does not make it mean different things nor does it make the lyrics make sense.
7. It is not your "jam." If you claim a song by Journey as your "jam" you seriously need a music intervention. I would be glad to sit and listen to 80's music with you for 3 days straight if only to convince you that there are much better "jams" from the 80's.
So please dear friends stop making me listen to this song. I know you love it but I think it's about time for it to just die. Let it be buried in the vault of other 80's songs that need to fade away. You can bring it out on occasion like 80's night or karaoke but other then that its time to release it back into abyss. Bye bye Journey.
I would also like to say that after a few enlightening blogs, I felt the need to voice my opinions about silly-ness. I needed a mental break.
And now my reasons:
1. The song is actually "Don't Stop Believing" with the 'g' on the end. Sorry folks, it actually loses about 10 catchy points for correct grammar.
2. It's about NOTHING. Don't stop believing in what??? Love? A small town girl and a city boy? The midnight train? What are we not believing?
3. This is not a love song people. I think it's actually being confused with a love song.
4. This is not a dance song either. It's an 80's song and trust me when I say there are far better 80's songs.
5. Just because VH1 claims its the 11th best 80's song (in 2006) does NOT mean it is. This is the same network that brought us Flavor of Love and Charm School.....need I say more?
6. This song does not get better the more times you play it. Playing it in different settings does not make it mean different things nor does it make the lyrics make sense.
7. It is not your "jam." If you claim a song by Journey as your "jam" you seriously need a music intervention. I would be glad to sit and listen to 80's music with you for 3 days straight if only to convince you that there are much better "jams" from the 80's.
So please dear friends stop making me listen to this song. I know you love it but I think it's about time for it to just die. Let it be buried in the vault of other 80's songs that need to fade away. You can bring it out on occasion like 80's night or karaoke but other then that its time to release it back into abyss. Bye bye Journey.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
A New Lord's Prayer
In reading an article for my World Christianity class I came across this new version of the Lord's Prayer. It was rewritten and is used by a Recovery Center in Douglas, Arizona/ Agua Prieta, Mexico called CREEDA. I was amazed at the commitment to faith that this prayer implies yet the truth within the words that we, as Christians, can learn from.
The Lord's Prayer
Do not call me "Father" if everyday you do not behave as my child;
Do not say "Our" if you live isolated in your selfishness
Do not say "Who Art in Heaven" if you only think about earthly/material things;
Do not say, "Hallowed by thy name" if you invoke it with your lips but your heart is far from God
Do not say "Thy Kingdom Come" if you mistake it for your material success;
Do not say "Thy Will be Done" if you do not accept the will when it is painful;
Do not say "Give us this day our daily bread" if you do not worry about the hungry;
Do not say "Forgive us our debts/trespasses" if you bear your brother or sister a grudge
Do not say "Lead us not into temptation" if you do not avoid occasions to sin
Do not say "Deliver us from evil" if you do not fight evil
Do not say "Amen" if you have not taken seriously the words of the Lord's Prayer
While this isn't exactly reformed it does take on a whole new meaning in the setting of a place of recovery from addiction to alcohol or drugs. In these settings people develop new ways of living and new ways of looking at their pain and hurt. It gives us all a new way of looking at our commitment to our faith, to God, and to the world around us. My favorite line is "Give us this day our daily bread," it is the reason why I chose to type this up on my blog.
I would also like to dedicate this new version to my wonderful friend Whitney. Her dedication to working towards reconciliation and peace in the world inspires me and I know she will love this prayer because it calls us to action and it makes us aware that Christianity is a verb.
The Lord's Prayer
Do not call me "Father" if everyday you do not behave as my child;
Do not say "Our" if you live isolated in your selfishness
Do not say "Who Art in Heaven" if you only think about earthly/material things;
Do not say, "Hallowed by thy name" if you invoke it with your lips but your heart is far from God
Do not say "Thy Kingdom Come" if you mistake it for your material success;
Do not say "Thy Will be Done" if you do not accept the will when it is painful;
Do not say "Give us this day our daily bread" if you do not worry about the hungry;
Do not say "Forgive us our debts/trespasses" if you bear your brother or sister a grudge
Do not say "Lead us not into temptation" if you do not avoid occasions to sin
Do not say "Deliver us from evil" if you do not fight evil
Do not say "Amen" if you have not taken seriously the words of the Lord's Prayer
While this isn't exactly reformed it does take on a whole new meaning in the setting of a place of recovery from addiction to alcohol or drugs. In these settings people develop new ways of living and new ways of looking at their pain and hurt. It gives us all a new way of looking at our commitment to our faith, to God, and to the world around us. My favorite line is "Give us this day our daily bread," it is the reason why I chose to type this up on my blog.
I would also like to dedicate this new version to my wonderful friend Whitney. Her dedication to working towards reconciliation and peace in the world inspires me and I know she will love this prayer because it calls us to action and it makes us aware that Christianity is a verb.
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