always on my mind

Starting Over

2009-09-01T18:04:00.000-07:00

I've decided to start my blog over again. I'm not deleting old posts but I am starting to post again. I never get to post because I feel like I don't have things to say and I get bored with my own dribble. Whitney posts 3 Glimpses of Grace with every blog post and I think that's something I could do but I want to be more original (and not rip off my dear friend). So I'll explore things I do each day and how I think they contribute to my life and ministry. Not exactly the same but similar.

I got a gym membership. I'm not much of a gym-ie but there is something about working out that makes a person feel better. It feels like I actually did something today. Plus, bragging rights! What did you do today? Oh work, errands, GYM! I think having a healthy body helps have a more clear mind plus it inspired me to make a healthy dinner as well. It just set me off to a good fulfilling day.

I had a great talk with my parents this evening. I love talking to them but sometimes I feel like I don't have a lot to say and I'm boring. I also feel like when I'm boring they're not listening. Not that they're mean people at all (they're actually wonderful parents) but it's frustrating living in a place with no friends feeling like I don't have a lot of people to talk to. So tonight we had a great talk. I talked with them about everything going on in my life including sharing a bit about a guy I've been talking to. They both listened and had great insights. They're so smart when it comes to relationships and they always encourage my own natural instincts. it was so weird how they both picked up on the things I was thinking and feeling and confirmed them.

Another great chat with my sorority sister Marisa this evening as well. She knows so much about health (she's a nutritionist) and eating. I feel like every time we talk about food and health I come away with new ways to eat and live. It sounds cheesy but I know I can talk to her about just about anything and nothing surprises her. She also makes me laugh, a major plus.

Welcome back to blogging with me!

Movin' Out, Movin' In & Movin' On

2009-05-25T13:33:00.000-07:00

Seminary is over! I can't believe these last three years have flown by as fast as they did. One minute I was clueless in Greek and the next I was walking across the stage to accept my beautiful diploma.

I accepted a job as an Associate Pastor in Tennessee and have moved out of my apartment in Atlanta and into an apartment in Tennessee. The weather has been beautiful and I am now the proud owner of a plant, haha! I can't have pets so I've decided to try out my green thumb. So far, so good, it's still alive after 3 days.

I miss Atlanta because there was so much to do as well as all my friends and favorite restaurants. I also miss Florida. Florida during the summer is like being spoiled rotten. The weather is so perfect and the beach is so close. Plus my wonderful family is there. I miss them but I'm just getting used to my new home.

Hopefully I'll be blogging a lot more often now about being a pastor and my plants of course.

Glimpses of Grace

2009-04-14T18:31:00.000-07:00

Today is my dear friend Whitney's 500th post on her blog: Glimpses of Grace. Each day she posts 3 or so glimpses of the holy she sees in every day. I have envied her ability to see these beautiful moments each and every day and I have been flattered many times to be a part of them. In honor of her 500th post she made a list of her top 10 glimpses. I was thrilled to see that I was a part of several of her favorite moments over the last few years.

Another friend of ours, Erin, paid homage to Whitney today by making a list of her glimpses of grace so I would like to do the same. Congrats Whit, on your truly wonderful way of seeing the world.

-The beautiful yellow roses on each table at Laura Mendenhall's farewell BBQ. She is a very classy lady from Texas and the roses were meant to represent her.

-My favorite professor whom I idolize giving me a hug and congratulating me on accepting a call. She said "They're so lucky to get you!" I almost melted!!

-The ugly gray sky fading away to a gorgeous blue sky just in time for the BBQ this afternoon.

-Spending everyday of my Spring Break with my dad. I've been back in Atlanta for 2 days and called him just to say Hi today because I missed him. We had so much fun shopping for cars, shopping for groceries, cooking dinner, and just being lazy together.

-Coming back to my room after the BBQ and changing into my PJs and getting cozy under a blanket. Anyone who knows me knows that I could wear my PJs all day and I truly enjoy just laying around in them.

-Realizing that I'm going to New Jersey to see my bestest friends in only 16 days!

-When someone mentioned Grady hospital today I thought of Whitney and how dedicated she was to her work as a chaplin there. She brought comfort and the Spirit to so many people who truly needed her.

-Starting a question today and having Betsy Turner answer it before I even got to the end. We both laughed and she said "Yes I knew exactly what you were asking"

-Landing in the Atlanta airport Sunday to find Betsy Montgomery waiting for me in her bright green Easter dress. My flight was almost an hour late but she didn't even care. I must have apologized 10 times she finally said "Jess, I didn't even notice. Really, all I would have been doing was watching TV in my PJs." She's such a wonderful friend. I was sad to leave home and my family so it was wonderful to find someone I love waiting for me :)

Saying It Outloud

2009-03-19T18:52:00.000-07:00

It amazing me sometimes the things we let fester within our hearts, minds, and souls. It amazes me every time I discover that I, myself, have done this again. My entire life I have needed to say it out loud. I have needed to let it out. What ever "it" might be I will allow it to say in me because I've always thought I might be doing it wrong. I might not know what I'm doing. I am so horrible at what I'm doing I may as well try something knew so this time I'll just bottle "it" up and not say a word. Others do this around me too and I am in awe of people when they finally "say it out loud."

Today I had the experience of listening to someone say it out loud. Anything I was feeling about that person before they said it changed the second after they said it. Not because of what they said but because did it. I kind of wanted to cheer for them. Even though what they said wasn't great and the truth that came out was a little ugly because it was about loss, it was about hurt, and somehow this involved me.

It's amazing to me how things change when you say them out loud. And I'd like to marinate in that idea for awhile....

Stress Levels Are High

2009-03-17T18:02:00.000-07:00

So as my last semester of seminary hits its mid-way point and begins to move to a close my stress levels have been through the roof. At a yearly doctors appointment a few weeks ago I was told my blood pressure was up (first time ever) and I was showing signs of early hypertension. I wanted to look at the doctor and say, "Remember your last semester of medical school? I'm so there." I've even started noticing that my vision is spotty because I'm pretty sure my eyes are tired from reading and starring at a computer screen.

The call process is not easy. It's like dating and playing the stock market at the same time. Needless to say I think I'm lucky to be escaping with slightly high blood pressure and fatigue.

Amidst all this my car is breathing its last breaths and is ready to retire.
You and me both Layla (car's name).

I was feeling the pressure so hard today that I had to take a long walk and ended up calling my sister at work and venting, something I've been doing a lot this week. This is mainly because my parents are on a cruise and I can't bug them. And then just as I collapsed on my couch (the wonderful couch I inherited from Whitney) my phone rang. It was my amazing parents who were at port on St. Thomas island. My dad asked how things were going and I said, "Dad I don't want to ruin your trip but I've had an awful week." I told him everything and then talked to mom and they assured me that everything would be alright they will help me figure out the car situation when they got home.

After I got off the phone with them I started to think about my stress. Sometimes I think I forget how lucky of a person I am. Of all the things I don't have, I DO have a wonderful family. I have amazing parents who will call me while on their vacation and talk me down off a ledge. I have a beautiful and smart sister who would walk through fire for me any day and who cheers me up when I'm feeling sad. I don't NEED a lot because I have a lot. I'm so lucky to have a wonderful place like Florida where I can go for Spring Break and spend quality time with my family and just relax.

During Lent we're supposed to reflect and think about the sacrifice that was made for us in Christ. I'd also like to reflect this year about the many things I have been blessed with in my life. I am also so lucky to have my wonderful friends who stand by me, support me, love me and understand me when I know its hard sometimes. Especially when they have their own stress. If Lent is about reflecting I'll happily reflect about all my blessings.

Reason's Why "Don't Stop Believin'" is NOT Making a Come Back...

2009-03-11T17:05:00.000-07:00

**Disclaimer** I'd first like to say that I do not mean to insult anyone, I am a firm believer in music and how it touches the soul, I am not however, a fan of Journey. Sorry Journey-lovers.

I would also like to say that after a few enlightening blogs, I felt the need to voice my opinions about silly-ness. I needed a mental break.

And now my reasons:

1. The song is actually "Don't Stop Believing" with the 'g' on the end. Sorry folks, it actually loses about 10 catchy points for correct grammar.

2. It's about NOTHING. Don't stop believing in what??? Love? A small town girl and a city boy? The midnight train? What are we not believing?

3. This is not a love song people. I think it's actually being confused with a love song.

4. This is not a dance song either. It's an 80's song and trust me when I say there are far better 80's songs.

5. Just because VH1 claims its the 11th best 80's song (in 2006) does NOT mean it is. This is the same network that brought us Flavor of Love and Charm School.....need I say more?

6. This song does not get better the more times you play it. Playing it in different settings does not make it mean different things nor does it make the lyrics make sense.

7. It is not your "jam." If you claim a song by Journey as your "jam" you seriously need a music intervention. I would be glad to sit and listen to 80's music with you for 3 days straight if only to convince you that there are much better "jams" from the 80's.

So please dear friends stop making me listen to this song. I know you love it but I think it's about time for it to just die. Let it be buried in the vault of other 80's songs that need to fade away. You can bring it out on occasion like 80's night or karaoke but other then that its time to release it back into abyss. Bye bye Journey.

A New Lord's Prayer

2009-03-10T08:09:00.000-07:00

In reading an article for my World Christianity class I came across this new version of the Lord's Prayer. It was rewritten and is used by a Recovery Center in Douglas, Arizona/ Agua Prieta, Mexico called CREEDA. I was amazed at the commitment to faith that this prayer implies yet the truth within the words that we, as Christians, can learn from.

The Lord's Prayer

Do not call me "Father" if everyday you do not behave as my child;
Do not say "Our" if you live isolated in your selfishness
Do not say "Who Art in Heaven" if you only think about earthly/material things;
Do not say, "Hallowed by thy name" if you invoke it with your lips but your heart is far from God
Do not say "Thy Kingdom Come" if you mistake it for your material success;
Do not say "Thy Will be Done" if you do not accept the will when it is painful;
Do not say "Give us this day our daily bread" if you do not worry about the hungry;
Do not say "Forgive us our debts/trespasses" if you bear your brother or sister a grudge
Do not say "Lead us not into temptation" if you do not avoid occasions to sin
Do not say "Deliver us from evil" if you do not fight evil
Do not say "Amen" if you have not taken seriously the words of the Lord's Prayer

While this isn't exactly reformed it does take on a whole new meaning in the setting of a place of recovery from addiction to alcohol or drugs. In these settings people develop new ways of living and new ways of looking at their pain and hurt. It gives us all a new way of looking at our commitment to our faith, to God, and to the world around us. My favorite line is "Give us this day our daily bread," it is the reason why I chose to type this up on my blog.

I would also like to dedicate this new version to my wonderful friend Whitney. Her dedication to working towards reconciliation and peace in the world inspires me and I know she will love this prayer because it calls us to action and it makes us aware that Christianity is a verb.

Tripping through the Tulips

2009-02-18T10:45:00.003-08:00

These beautiful tulips were a Valentine's Day surprise from the wonderful guy in my life. I truly believe that the best things in life will always come back around if they are meant to be.

Positive Energy

2009-02-11T09:20:00.000-08:00

It seems that negative energy is all around me lately. People are stressed about class and finding jobs. No one can escape the heavy weight of the world situation, the economy, the war and the many shifts in politics. No one seems to be happy. It seems like every topic is a touchy subject for someone.

To add to all this I recently started talking to a guy I used to date in college. At the time we were very serious and even talked about getting married but he left college to join the Army and went on to West Point. He's a wonderful person, by far the most wonderful person I've ever dated. We were madly in love and probably still are. But alas he has given his life and soul over to the United States Military. This is the reason we broke up. I wanted to go to seminary and he wanted to be in the military and we knew those things couldn't go together at the time. It was very sad, both our hearts were broken. These days it seems like things might be different. He said it himself, we are older, wiser and more willing to compromise. But things for me haven't changed that much.

I love what I do. I absolutely love the church and can't wait to be a part of it. I can't see myself doing anything else for the rest of my life. I know this is where I belong. I also can't stand the military lifestyle. I have never wanted to be a military wife. It feels like my heart is breaking all over again sometimes when I think about having to make the choice between the church and the person I love. All this negative energy is very overwhelming and it really isn't what I need right now. I'm working my butt off to finish school and find a good job.

All this frustration was going through my head when I went into Starbucks today, my other true love. (I don't say that as a coffee addict like some, I say that as a former employee who passionately loved working for the company). The girl behind the counter asked me how my day was going and what I did. I told her. She asked if I had a church to work at, I told her it didn't really work that way and I was looking but it was a long process. She said, "Good for you girl! You can do it, don't let that negative energy in. Think positive." I think I starred at her for a solid minute. I didn't know what to say. I nodded and thanked her.

I know it seems like placating the problem and pushing the noise out of my head. I know it seems like a band-aide over a bullet hole right now but the truth is my new friend at Sbux (that's what we called it) seems to have discovered a gold mine of information. I immediately put my hands up in front of me like I was blocking off an attack of negativity. I remember my dear friends, who were in this place just one year ago. The stress was overwhelming and they thought nothing was going to work out for them. But things did work out. It took time and patience and a lot of waiting around but things just fell into place. This is exactly what my best friend told me. She said when its right it just falls into place. I hate waiting. I hate being patient. I hate not knowing whats going to happen next. But I hate being unhappy more. I hate the idea of me not working in the church more.

Nothing has changed. I'm still me. I'm still a great student who knows where God is leading me. And I'm still going to work my butt off and find the perfect job. I know the perfect man will find me. If he happens to be this guy that I've loved for so long then he is going to have to come to me as much as I'm willing to come to him. It has to be a lot of compromise but I'm on a journey. This is the choice I've made and the place I know I'm supposed to be. I

More Insights from People's 25 Things....

2009-02-05T08:42:00.000-08:00

4. If you haven't broken it then you don't know enough about it.

My friend AJ wrote this one in his 25 Random Things blog. I used to babysit AJ when he was a little kid. Now he's 23 and a very talented musician. He's also really funny, a middle child, and apparently brilliant.

I have no idea what he's talking about when he makes this statement. Possibly a relationship, a mechanical device, a vase....who knows. But for me, when I read this I laughed and then thought "so very true." The world is not perfect. Our lives are not perfect. Nothing around us will ever be perfect. The likelihood that I will break something, anything, is great. And the idea that this will only help me learn more about it is wonderful. For me this is comforting. Because I will break something or someone sometime and skewing this idea of "breaking" to make it have a positive outcome is how I prefer to see life. I do prefer to see the glass as half full. I do prefer to look forward to the good coming from the bad. I also look forward to learning. And learning from a broken (bad) situation excites me.

This is also very important for our growth as people in community. If we don't learn something from our mistakes, if we don't learn how to adapt or change from our short-comings then we are not opening ourselves up to the transforming power of God in our lives. If you don't want to think about it in terms of God think about it in terms of fate. What part do we play in our own fate if we don't learn from our own brokenness?

What If....

2009-02-03T18:01:00.000-08:00

There are lots of days when I feel really lonely. I wish I was married, I wish I had a child, I wish I had stuck it out in some of the relationships I was in, I wish a lot of things were different in my life. I look at people I knew from Junior High and High School who are now engaged or married or even raising a family and I can't help but be really jealous.
Until....
Today I was reading the "25 Things" of an old friend of mine. This friend was pretty, popular and athletic but most of all she was kind. We were never super close but we were never enemies. Her life now is exactly the things I wish mine were sometimes. She's married to a really good looking guy and has a beautiful child. But her 25 Things shocked me. As I read between the lines I saw so many "what ifs" in her life. The thing is, I've always known I have to make myself happy. I've always known to follow my heart and do what fulfills me. I've always known to follow my true calling in life.
I never realized I was doing something other people didn't do, couldn't do, or wouldn't do. I never realized there were people out there who seemed so happy but who really had other plans they chose not to follow.
I can't believe I'm living my dream because I chose to follow what is best for me. What I truly love to do and what will fulfill me for the rest of my life. If nothing else I can always look back and know that I did what makes me happy. I have committed myself to...ME! Its true what they say that life isn't worth having unless you share it but that doesn't mean you absolutely must be in love and married and it certainly doesn't mean that I have to give up what I love the most for someone else.
I'm so happy with the decisions I've made. I couldn't imagine how I'd feel if I had put my heart into something other then what truly makes me happy.

The list keeps going...

2009-01-31T08:19:00.000-08:00

17. My parents were hippies. They would never admit it but I've seen pictures. Hello flower children. Plus, my sister's name is Aubrey...after a song by "Bread" you MUST have been smoking something.

18. I think my parents have aged really well, I hope I do too.

19. When I was growing up my room was painted blue. In one corner I hand painted a big sun with a tree under it and in the other corner I hand painted a big moon with stars all along 2 borders. The other 2 borders were lined with lyrics to DMB songs. My parents actually thought it was really cool.

20. I hear songs I like on TV and in movies all the time. I google the lyrics and download the songs. That's how I get most of my good stuff :)

21. Even though I lived in Tallahassee and 21st birthdays were a HUGE deal, I came home to Jacksonville for mine. I can't remember why.

22. I got food poisoning once and lost 6 pounds in 14 hours. I looked like death.

23. I once read 6 books in a day.

24. My first choice for college was UVa but my parents said no because it was WAY too expensive out of state. I don't usually tell people that because I LOVED FSU and would have regretted not going there.

25. I'll try anything once. I'm not afraid of many things, accept snakes and rollercoasters.

26. I am neither a big city girl nor a country girl. I like both. I do prefer the beach to the mountains but I grew up visiting the mountains all the time so I love them too.

27. I wish I had been a ballerina but my mom wouldn't let me. She overheard my ballet teacher yelling at a 6 year old about her weight and never let me go back.

28. I'm 5 feet tall, my drivers license says 5'1" that would be the DMV's fault not mine.

29. I love Jacksonville but I don't need to move back here. It would be great but I'd like living somewhere else just as much.

30. When I get mad or stressed out I clean.

16 Things About Me

2009-01-18T11:19:00.000-08:00

I got "tagged" on facebook to list 16 random things about myself. So I did. However, I kind of feel like the things I said were a little boring and a little safe. So I've decided to do 16 new things about myself on my blog. We'll see how different they end up being:

1. I think its sad when really attractive people have horrible personalities. For some reason this is always a huge disappointment to me and I dwell on it.

2. I love oysters and beets. Apparently lots of people hate both. I can eat beets straight out of a jar, pickled, not pickled, hot or cold I don't care I love them. Oysters are so good to me as well. I eat them on a cracker with hot sauce. I'm drooling.

3. I actually have to restrain myself from baking every single day. Mostly because I won't be able to eat everything I bake and even if I could all I would be eating would be sweets all day long. That would get old.

4. I really hate talking about money. It's a huge turn-off to me when people, especially guys I go out on a date with, talk about money. Unless you're extremely wealthy everyone has money issues so why bring it up?

5. I hate when people comment on the way I eat. I don't eat in a strange way or anything but I really hate it when people comment on it. In fact on a date once a guy commented about the way I ate and I never went out with him again. I'm not going to lie that was the moment that killed the date for me. The rest of the evening was great.

6. I really hate buffet style eating. I always think I can eat more then I can. In fact this is actually a goal of mine in life, to be better about how much food I serve myself. I'll always put like one more shrimp then I can eat on my plate or a tablespoon too much rice.

7. I really love soup. All kinds of soup.

8. I would love to be a stand up comedian or the lead singer in a band. These are both things I can seriously see myself doing in life. However, I have terrible stage fright. For some reason this does not apply to preaching.

9. I stopped drinking liquor about 5 years ago. The only thing I've had since then has been margaritas and even then I won't drink them if they're too strong. It took me a few years to realize I'm 5 feet tall and weigh 105lbs liquor isn't my game.

10. I physically cannot drink RedBull. It keeps me jazzed for 6 to 8 hours and makes me heart beat really fast. I'm scared of RedBull.

11. My sister, my dad and I were all born in the same hospital.

12. I google everything espeically people. I can seriously kill 2 hours reading stuff on the internet about Andy Worhall or the children of John Adams.

13. I think people think I'm weird but I have no clue why. I'm serious. I have always thought that about myself even in high school. Why am I weird? You're weird!

14. I really seriously like everyone I go to school with accept for one person. There is only one person at my entire school I don't like and I really don't talk about it very often. In fact I think only one other person knows who I don't like. I find the good in everyone here. Some people irritate me but honestly I've had good experiences with everyone but one person. I wonder if they know....

15. I have always wanted to send a secret into postsecret.com but honestly I have no idea what it would be. Every Sunday I read the new posts and think about what I would write but nothing ever comes to me.

16. I quit girlscouts when I was 7 because they wouldn't let my dad come on a trip with us. I seriously thought this was the dumbest thing ever.

Beautiful Words

2008-11-23T12:01:00.001-08:00

Hafez was a poet and mystic during the 1300's.

Poetry Project

2008-11-16T08:46:00.000-08:00

I'm doing a project in one of my classes (The Preacher and the Poet, how wonderful of a class it is indeed) on love poetry. I picked love poetry because all the other topics were depressing (especially the topic of depression) and I had to believe that some poetry comes from a place within us that is experiencing some kind of joy. Even if it is a deep longing for someone we can't have, love is some form of good thing. I haven't quite figured out what good comes of it but when I do I'll let you know. I picked 10 poems, all of them wonderful and all of them I could gush about for days and then I have to come up with a theory of preaching from them.

Here is what I've found: all the love poems in some way compare love to or relate love to nature. I have had this theory for a while that love is instinctive, its something within us that we cannot control, it just happens to us. It is buried deep within our being which makes it a natural occurrence. I think preaching is similar. It's natural. It's instinctive. It's in your gut. One of my favorite characters on my favorite show (that will remain unnamed because those of you who know me best know what it is and the rest of the world can just remain in the dark) said "Love isn't brains it's blood." We can think about it, we can't rationalize it, it just moves within us.

During class we have to share one of the poems from our collection (only one I know it tortures me). I chose this excerpt from a poem by Anne Sexton:

Watch out for love
(unless it is true,
and every part of you says yes including the toes),
it will wrap you up like a mummy,
and your scream won't be heard
and none of your running will end.

Love? Be it man. Be it woman.
It must be a wave you want to glide in on,
give your body to it, give your laugh to it,
give, when the gravelly sand takes you,
your tears to the land. To love another is something
like prayer and can't be planned, you just fall
into its arms because your belief undoes your disbelief.

I wish I could express to you how much this poem stirs me. Anne, in all her depression, at the end of her life, expresses to someone (the poem is titled "Admonitions to a Special Person) how love compares to nature and finally religion. These are two themes I found over and over again in my research. There is something about faith that compares to love. There is something about being blind to what we believe that compares to being blind to how loves works within us. But there is also something about a choice that we make to accept love into our lives that makes it different from anything else. It must be a wave you want to glide in on.

I can't even begin to express the difference this project has made in my life. There is something about spending your entire Saturday, from the second you wake up to the second you go to bed, sitting on your couch reading poetry that changes your life. Now that will preach.

If thou must love me

2008-10-01T18:14:00.000-07:00

If thou must love me, let it be for nought  
Except for love's sake only. Do not say,  
"I love her for her smile—her look—her way  
Of speaking gently,—for a trick of thought  
That falls in well with mine, and certes brought
A sense of pleasant ease on such a day"—  
For these things in themselves, Belovèd, may  
Be changed, or change for thee—and love, so wrought,  
May be unwrought so. Neither love me for  
Thine own dear pity's wiping my cheeks dry:
A creature might forget to weep, who bore  
Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby!  
But love me for love's sake, that evermore  
Thou mayst love on, through love's eternity.

--Elizabeth Barrett Browning

A Feminist.

2008-09-17T13:49:00.001-07:00

I am supposed to be your feminist
I am supposed to walk your blazed trail
I am supposed to make you proud of me
I am supposed to but I fail

I am supposed to be your lawyer
I am supposed to fight for rights
I am supposed feel your anger too
I am supposed to carry the light

I am me in all my glory
I am me who loves not hates
I am me who sees the good in bad
I am me who sits and waits

Give Yourself Away

2008-09-09T08:31:00.000-07:00

As some of you may have experienced facebook rules the world. It's sad but true. I keep up with friends all over the world simply by being 'friends' with them on facebook. So when I actually learn something from facebook I'm pleasantly surprised!

This morning I was posting back and forth with my sister when I noticed she was friends with a guy we went to High School with. I clicked on his name and it showed his entire profile (which doesn't always happen because you can set your profile to private and no one can view it if you're not friends). What surprised me the most was under Religious Views he put: "Give yourself away."

Give yourself away. How philosophical! Now I'm sure there might be some drunken silly meaning to this and it's possible it means nothing but not to someone like me in the world of ministry.

Give yourself away. How simple! How much of ourselves do we waste on ourselves? How much of our energy do we spend doing nothing but the next thing we're supposed to do? Is it really as simple as saying that your view on religion is to just give yourself away? I think so. I think it's absolutely possible that our faith, our spirituality, and our devotion to a higher power can so simply be summed up by saying "give yourself away." I love it!

In the quiet

2008-09-06T13:16:00.001-07:00

So I've discovered that not having class on Fridays might not be as great as I thought. I'm not sure what I'm going to do on Fridays and it's going to be tempting to do nothing. I'm also going to be royally lazy this senior year. I don't have class until 11 at the earliest on any given day which means sleeping in at it's finest. This also tempts me to skip chapel. Now I'm not usually one to attend every single chapel service but it's senior year and my peers will be leading. So I would really like to attend more often.

I am excited that it's senior year even though I've only gone to one class. I still think it's going to be a good year. I was just talking to a good friend and I said "Middler Year was the year of rejection, Senior Year is pretty good so far." Knock on wood.

I do miss home and my amazing boyfriend in Jacksonville. It's very hard to be away from him and the rest of my family but hopefully I'll get to see him about once a month and we talk everyday so that gives me lots of hope. I'm also looking forward to a possible residency at a hospital after graduation, which could put me in my own backyard.

Among the Roses

2008-09-05T17:46:00.000-07:00

I went to Fernbank Museum today and took pictures in their rose garden. Just beautiful.

Order My Steps

2008-09-05T05:39:00.000-07:00

What a perfect way to start off my final school year in seminary:

I want to walk worthy,
my calling to fulfill.
Please order my steps Lord,
and I'll do Your blessed will.
The world is ever changing,
but You are still the same;
if You order my steps, I'll praise Your name.

It's already my thrid year....

2008-09-02T06:40:00.000-07:00

My third year of seminary begins this week and I must admit I'm pretty excited. I can't believe I've been doing this for over two years now and I'm moving into my third. Many things are going to change and many new adventures are coming my way.

Over the summer I barely had time to breath much less write a blog, plus I'm terrible at writing blogs. I've always been bad about keeping journals and things like that but I love to write. Every time I sit down to write something I say to myself, "Self, you love to write so write it out." But nothing comes into my mind and I always end up skipping it for the day which turns into a week. I used to write short stories but the truth is I feel like I had inspiration back then. Now I feel like I have so much going on around me all I want to do is live it, not write it. I have this ridiculous fantasy somewhere in my head about being a writer I guess.

Upon returning to Atlanta I immediately established a large gaping hole in my chest. This is for several reasons. 1. All of my closest seminary friends have moved on with their lives and graduated. Some are going to really far off places and some aren't too far away but they are all still gone. 2. I actually physically left my heart in Jacksonville where I did my internship. Pieces were scattered along the halls of the hospital with the patients that I grew to love. There were also pieces left in my chair at the dinner table. Spending that much time with my family made me realize how much I truly love them and reminded me how hard it is to be so far away from them. Finally, a large chunk is in the hands of my wonderful boyfriend, Chris. I go to bed every night wondering how I got this lucky to have found such an amazing person to be my partner through this journey of mine. I've never had someone care about me so much and I have thanked God ever single second for his presence in my life. He's amazing and words can't describe what a great relationship we're building with each other.

I'm starting to meet new students and I'm loving being back on campus.

More later....blessings....

Chaplain Life

2008-06-29T18:44:00.001-07:00

Week 4 of Internship Begins
Week 7 of Being Home Begins

I've found that living at home benefits my CPE experience greatly. I ride to and from work with my sister everyday and come home to my family. My parents ask about my day and listen to me if I need someone to listen. It's really healthy.

My CPE group is also amazing. Everyone gets along and we're having a great experience. It's not at all what I thought it would be. So far I'm having an ok time. I should also mention here that Paul is my favorite co-worker and also very awesome!

The hardest part is how much it drains you. There's this strange feeling that you get when you walk into the hospital. Once you cross through those doors you can almost start to feel yourself wearing out. I can only go into a few rooms and talk to people before I'm feeling exhausted! Sometimes I find myself almost wandering around the hospital thinking about what to do next. It often feels like you go into a room, talk with someone and then you leave and then what? Nothing. I get this kind of "so what" feeling after I leave some rooms. But every room is different. Some rooms I leave smiling, knowing that even if it was for just one second I distracted someone from what they were going through. Other times I leave shrugging my shoulders not knowing if it even mattered.

As for learning things about my ministry I'll have to fill you in on that later. I still haven't decided exactly what I'm learning. I'm not saying that I'm not learning anything I'm simply saying I haven't put the pieces together just yet. More on that topic later.

Think happy thoughts for me!

And the summer begins.....

2008-05-19T06:56:00.000-07:00

Day 1 of Living at Home:

My summer plans include working at Baptist Hospital in Downtown Jacksonville as a Chaplain Intern in their Clinical Pastoral Education program. I won't be giving out any names or information about my internship and if I do talk about it will be very vague. The purpose of this summer's blog to is share my experiences of living at home and maybe a little about my hospital work.

So here we go.....

I have moved home to live with my parents for the summer. My sister is also living here. I have been downgraded to the guest room which isn't too shabby. With a big TV and cable and a cozy pull out bed plus wireless internet I'm not too broken up about it. My dad is retired so he works around the house all day on various projects and apparently makes my sister coffee and lunch every day. I can't say I'm not looking forward to that.

Dad found out today that I have 3 weeks until my internship starts and I now have a list of things that I could possibly do in that time. Apply for a new credit card, deposit my income tax check, get coffee ground at Starbucks and visit grandma are just a few options. So far I have: drank a Diet Coke, taken a shower and unpacked my clothes. I'm not promising miracles here.

Here is the thing about living at home: my parents are pretty awesome. They're laid back and they do their own thing and are happy as clams. They don't really care what I do or how I spend my time and they require very little of me. Plus, I love being at home. My sister is awesome and we have a lot in common, my cats are here and my parents have a pretty sweet set up. Home is not a bad place to be.

More later when I'm actually doing something with my time.

J

Trust in Resurrection

2008-03-23T08:58:00.001-07:00

As it is Easter and I am thinking about something big I thought I'd pick back up with the blogging...

Trust. How many times can you trust the same person who keeps breaking that trust. I always hear people saying things like "Oh you have to earn someone's trust." I have no idea how that works or if that's true but I do know that I give people my trust because I have no reason not to. And trust is something that I think I should be a little more careful with.

I really don't want to sound like one of those middle schoolers blogging here but the truth is, I need a better understanding of trust because I think I haven't come to the truth about how trust should work.

So as it is Easter, as it is the time of new life and resurrection I am starting over when it comes to trust. I have decided to re-do how I understand and use and give trust.

All should know, spread the word.

Fire and Ice

2007-11-04T15:16:00.000-08:00

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say it will end in ice
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if I had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

-Robert Frost

Two

2007-10-14T14:49:00.000-07:00

If you take me back
Back to your place
I'll try not to bother you I promise
'Cause it's cold in here
And I wish it was hot
The sink's broke, it's leaking from the faucet
And I'm fractured from the fall
And i wanna go home
But it takes two when it used to take one
It takes two when it used to take only one
Well, my money's no good when i'm up to no good
No good ever comes from it, honest
I got a really good heart
I just can't catch a break
If i could I'd treat you like you wanted me to i promise
But I'm fractured from the fall
And i wanna go home
I'm fractured from the fall
And i wanna go home
But it takes two when it used to take one
It takes two when it used to take one
It takes two when it used to take only one

Favorites....

2007-10-10T18:10:00.001-07:00

Here are some of my current favorite quotes that seem to be applying to my life:

"He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still” --Lao Tzu

"Only a person open to others can commune with, relate to or build up another person. Openness is the mark of the spirit. Being-in-openness is being in freedom, being capable of the love the transfigures the whole universe." -- Leonardo Boff

"I may be loves bitch but at least I'm man enough to admit it." -- Joss Whedon

"Real loss is only possible when you love something more then you love yourself." --Good Will Hunting

"Destiny is something we've invented because we can't stand the fact that everything that happens is an accident." --Sleepless in Seatle

"When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." --When Harry Met Sally

"A life without love is no life at all." --Leonardo DaVinci

"Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle." --Plato

"Nothing can bring you peace but yourself." --Ralph Waldo Emerson

"She loves me for the best reason of all...no reason at all." --Jack

"If we could live without passion maybe we'd know some kind of peace but we'd be hallow. Without passion we'd truly be dead." -- Joss Whedon

"Purpose doesn't last and regret can burn a hole through any happiness." --Irv

"Love isn't brains, it's blood." --Joss Whendon

"Anything that's going to be good is going to have a struggle." --P.Diddy

These are words of wisdom that I've collected through the years but at the same time they all apply to a relationship I have right now in my life. It's funny how blind people are to who they are and how much these words are needed. If I could put blinking lights around some of these quotes I would and big arrows pointing at them for certain people. Especially the one from Good Will Hunting.

Found: One Amazing Old Friend

2007-09-19T14:25:00.001-07:00

Today I got the best phone call a person can get from my college roommate Ryan. She randomly called me because she's shopping for her wedding dress and was remembering a time when we went shopping for wedding dresses in college....just because...yeah that's right...we did it. Ok it was my idea.

ANYWAY...It was the best conversation ever. Ryan is the type of person who you can just pick up the phone and call after months and months of not talking and it feels like you just saw her five minutes ago. She's loyal and supportive and an amazing friend. We laughed together about old times and talked about things going on now.

I miss our times living together and running into each other in the living room. I remember us convincing our other roommate to skip class and going to Sonic for Cherry Limeades and hot dogs together. We laughed about the day we met, at Orientation before Freshmen year ever started. We were roommates in the dorm overnight and kept in touch, ,we stayed close friends all through Freshmen year and moved in together Sophomore year. Wonderful times.

I absolutely love hearing her voice and it reminded me that I'm not alone. Even when I think I am...even when I'm sitting here in my room alone for hours, I'm not alone. My oldest most dearest friends are there for me all the time. I hope we get to talk more. Because I love having her as my friend!

Oh and it made me go back and look at old pictures of us and I'm getting a bunch of them scanned and put on CD so I'll put some up.

Go

2007-09-13T19:13:00.001-07:00

For all the love we've made
Just one thing stays the same
The lamp gets dusty
The pipes get rusty
But I don't want to wash my hands clean

You say you love me too
Then why won't you go through
With the nightly kisses
With the hits and the misses
If you can make it on your own then

Go if you want to go
But stay if you want to know
The way through the mess we've made
And lie in a bed you know
Or go

I heard your moving van
But I didn't take a stand
You can't leave with them
You can't live without them
I never thought I'd want to let you

Go if you want to go
But stay if you want to know
The way through the mess we've made
And lie in a bed you know
Or go

For all the love we've made
Just one thing stays the same
The lamp gets dusty
The pipes get rusty
But I don't want to wash my hands clean

You say you love me too
Then why won't you go through
With the nightly kisses
With the hits and the misses
If you can make it on your own then

Go if you want to go
But stay if you want to know
The way through the mess we've made
And lie in a bed you know
Or go

Home Again!

2007-08-14T07:39:00.000-07:00

Well I'm finally done and after a quick stop over in Atlanta I'll be home in Jacksonville for two weeks! At this moment I'm in ATL but I'm leaving tomorrow morning early. I have so much to do in just one day here I have no idea if I'll get it all done. I totally missed Trivia last night :( but I was so tired.

Let me just tell you all how well I slept in my bed last night!! It was amazing! I can't believe I'm done!

My internship was so amazing. Jeff was such a wonderful supervisor and he gave me so much great advise as well as lots of great resources. I brought back with me so many great books and a new robe which I'm so proud of! I wanted to stay so badly but I was starting to get really home sick. I can't wait to be back in Jacksonville tomorrow!!! There are so many things I'm going to do with my family before heading back to school. I am going to eat at all my favorite restaurants and shop with my mom and dad. I can't wait to see my kitty cats and oh yeah my parents too haha.

Thank you to all my friends who read my blogs over the summer I have tons of pictures to show you and hopefully I'll see you all soon. I'm going to keep this blog up and start writing about my school year. Hebrew and Theology experiences to come! More later!

Almost Done!

2007-08-01T05:50:00.000-07:00

Well my internship is drawing to a close. I have a week and a half left and then I'm done. I can't believe how fast this summer has gone by. I have so much to do in the next few days it's crazy! My supervisor wants me to go and visit people that are shut in. I'd love to! I just have no idea when I'll have the time to do it. Especially since I'm preaching next weekend!

This weekend we're doing a service outside at the lake. I'm excited because it's going to be different and Jeff is planning everything so I can literally sit around and work on other stuff while he's doing that there's just a lot of other stuff to do!!

And now the purpose of this blog...

Yesterday I saw the most funny commercial on TV ever!! And I tried to call everyone to tell them about it but no one was answering their phones! So I am now writing a blog about it. So it's a commercial for a drug to help with "Restless Leg Syndrome" ok whatever I have no idea what that is. So they talk and talk on and on about this drug and then of course like all commercials for drugs they list the side affects. So I'm sitting there not really paying attention until they say..."Contact your doctor if you experience: headaches, drowsiness or severe compulsion to gamble." I like stopped what I was doing and seriously went "Did they just say that drug can bring about compulsion to gamble???" And then I start cracking up because you know a million people in Vegas just picked up a phone! I have no idea what to think about this drug but I can't wait to see the commercial again!! hahahaha!

Preaching out of control!!

2007-07-25T07:19:00.001-07:00

So this week I am all alone in the office. Jeff is out of town and won't be back Sunday so I have to do everything on my own. I'm not too worried though. I got to looking at the scriptures and found that I have "The Friend at Midnight" from Luke. I realize that I will have done 2 Luke sermons but Jeff always does his from the Letters or the OT so we've sort of gotten into a rhythmn. I'm actually pretty excited about my sermon because I think I'm going to talk about Les Meserables!! Now if you know me you know that Les Meserables is one of my favorite books/stories. I love it. I'm going to use it as my illustration to go along with the ask, seek, knock moral of the story about prayer. Hopefully I can work it in there well.

So my last sermon is coming up! August 12th in two weeks is the last time I'll be preaching and I do not think I am going to preach the lectionary. I think I am going to dedicate the last two weeks of my internship to putting together a great last sermon. I have thought long and hard about what it might be and I think I've decided on Ruth. Truthfully Ruth is one of my favorite books of the Bible. Simply because it is just so beautiful and full of true dedication and love. I have a good friend who is getting married next year and she has asked me to do the wedding. I think I'd just love to preach about Ruth then as well. I've also been asked to preach at my home church! I'm so excited. My family is going to be there with me and I can't wait to share this experience with them.

Well back to the grind, I'm baking cupcakes today for my Bible Study tonight! Two more weeks and then I'm back to Jacksonville!

Harry Potter and the Bane of My Exsistance.

2007-07-23T07:00:00.000-07:00

Of course as you all know the final Harry Potter book has come out and within 10 hours of it's release it was already causing me problems.

I am not a Harry fan. I've seen all the movies and I like them but I haven't read any of the books. Well I take that back. When the first book came out many years ago my mom bought it for my sister who didn't read it. But mom read it and loved it so she made me read it and I did not love it. I don't really like fantasy that way. So I have yet to read any of the other books. Sorry everyone who is very disappointed in me!

I think Harry is great though. I mean great for kids. All the adults out there who are flipping out over it, calm down. One of my favorite TV shows "Best Week Ever" said it pretty clearly when they said that adults are ruining Harry Potter for kids. I totally agree. Especially the adults who stood me up Saturday morning to read instead of meet with me over something really important. Oh did I mention they called me 20 minutes AFTER the time we were supposed to meet to tell me they were reading instead? Yeah, so uncool.

So I went to Wal Mart, picked up the book and read the Epilogue. Don't worry I'm not going to spoil it for you!! Geez I'm not that mean but I am just going to say remember ADULTS it's a KIDS book. Name one Fairy Tale that has ended tragically! People have spent months and months wondering if Harry was going to die, if Ron was going to die, bla bla bla I just don't think it's worth it to worry that much! It's a kids book!

Alright I'm done I'm not going to ruin anything for anyone. Happy reading to all of my friends who have dedicated their lives to this book. Sorry it's finally over and you'll never be able to buy a book at midnight again. But there are still two movies to come out! That should help you feel a little better.

In the news...

2007-07-16T06:14:00.000-07:00

So many of you might know that I read the news a lot. When I worked for Starbucks I got the paper for free which was amazing but now that I am a poor student I have to read the news online. So I frequent AOL.com and CNN.com everyday browsing through the latest headlines. I read just about everything I can find from entertainment to world news to people dying on amusement park rides. I have a love for the news, especially news online because it's fast and easy.

Today I have a few comments on the headlining stories. Because I've read them all 2 or 3 times each and I'm struggling with how frustrating some of them are!

First, the Archdioceses of Los Angeles (Catholic Church) is about to shell out $660 million dollars to 508 people who are victims of clergy abuse. 508 people is about 508 too many people! I'm so amazed and bewildered as to how this happened. They even interviewed a random Catholic woman who said she is seriously reconsidering whether clergy should be allowed to marry because of this. The Catholic Church doesn't bother me. I mean I've been to several services and a couple weddings and yeah they're different and they have a whole bunch of rules that probably aren't necessary but at the same time, Catholics don't bother me. This bothers me though. It makes me sad. It makes me look at my chosen profession and think that I have it easy in some ways.

Second, the Phillies have become the only sports team in history to lose 10,000 games. Not nearly as severe as the clergy story but then again if you're a Phillies fan...

---> Side note the other day I met a guy with the last name Bowden. I was with Jeff. The minute Jeff said his last name I lit up like a Christmas Tree, Jeff laughed so hard. The guy totally did not get the reference but it was still the funniest thing EVER!

Third, the new Harry Potter movie made a lot of money over the weekend. Is anyone surprised? I saw it last Thursday it was great! I liked the 4th one the best so far but this one was still good. I caught an interview with Daniel Radcliff last night on Larry King he seems to hope he'll be in for the last two movies. Me too. Why stop now? I think a ton of people would be REALLY mad if they ditched him so I say keep him. If they're going to keep the other two they may as well keep him!

Fourth, Isaiah Washington has a new show (Formally, Dr. Preston Burke). I'm glad for him it's time to move on past this whole mess but it does bother me a lot the things that he's saying about his career on Grey's. Get over it. You screwed up big time and then you had the chance to come back and you screwed up again. You're out Buddy! I'm not surprised the fired him, I am sad about Christina and Burke's wedding :(

Fifth, I can't stand Elizabeth Hasselbeck!!! She is my new Kelly Ripa! One of my roommates in college used to watch Regis and Kelly every morning before class and man Kelly drove me insane. Kelly officially does not bother me anymore, Elizabeth Hesselbeck is my new annoyance on TV. That girl really rubs me the wrong way!!! I can't say that I'm a huge Rosie O'Donnell fan. You know I like her and she's liberal so I like that but she does say some pretty harsh things. So this is not an Elizabeth vs. Rosie thing here. I really just do not like Elizabeth.

In other news Lindsey Lohan is out of rehab! Whew! I was worried. Britney Spears bought a new dog....why does she need dogs? She has two kids. I'm just saying....that's a lot of work.

Prayers to Japan! They suffered a major earthquake!

Harry Potter and Preaching.

2007-07-12T08:27:00.000-07:00

Ok so I'm going to see Harry Potter today by myself. I love going to the movies by myself. It always works out so well. I love being able to sit where ever I want and take up as much room as I want and leave when I want. I know it sounds pathetic but I really love it. When I want to see a movie I just go. I think going to the movies by yourself is a big step in your life. It's one that we should all take. It's not like grocery shopping or going to Target....or is it? If you can go to Target to get toilet paper on your own, can't you go to the movies on your own? I mean no one can see you in the movie theater! Hello no one even knows you're by yourself!! And who cares if they do? So you went to the movies by yourself big deal. You wanted to see this movie and you didn't feel like searching for someone else to go with you so you just went. I think that rocks!

I'm preaching this Sunday on the Good Samaritan and I'm pumped. I've had my sermon written for about a week now I taught a class about it last night it went really well. I'm excited. It's going to be great!

Good Samaritan

2007-06-29T10:40:00.000-07:00

Well preaching again is slowly approaching. July 15th is the day! I picked it randomly and ended up with the Good Samaritan as my text. I was pretty shocked when I read it. Everyone loves this story and it's pretty easy to preach about. Which means that I want to preach about something new and different. But how far can we really go with this text? I don't want to go so far that I've come up with something silly but I do want to stretch it.
After talking with a friend about it we came to the conclusion that there are very few "Samaritans" today. There aren't too many people who we consider outcasts.
I think this is very true but at the same time "we" as a society might not like to outcast people but we as individuals do it all the time. It's sad really how much hate or dislike a lot of us have in our hearts. These are just the thoughts I'll be pondering as I dig my way through my text for the next couple weeks!

Montreat how I love thee...

2007-06-22T10:40:00.000-07:00

I was so excited to get to spend the last few days in Montreat. The weather was beautiful and so were the mountains. I love Montreat I am so lucky to have gone there for youth conferences when I was in High School.

In other news I preached last weekend. It went really well and I'm happy with how my sermon turned out. I will be preaching again on July 15th which is sooner then I thought. I got some great compliments on my last sermon but I haven't met with my committee yet so I don't know what they really think just yet. This weekend I'm doing the children's sermon which is an actual sermon here. It's more like the children's message then anything else but I'm still pretty nervous. I hope I make a point and I hope what I say can relate to the scripture as well as the Baptism that we'll be doing. I'm also excited to be helping with a Baptism. I don't know exactly what I'll be doing just yet but we'll see!
I really like the congregation and the area where I'm working. However the other day I went to a meeting for VBS with Jeff and it didn't go so well. Here several churches of all denominations do it together so I went to one of the planning meetings. Apparently before this meeting they were all told that I would be there every single night and willing to help out with anything and everything which is not what Jeff and I discussed. In fact we agreed that I wouldn't be working with kids at all. When I clarified that to them they took it as me not liking kids and not wanting to work with them. I feel so bad for what I said and horrible that anyone would think I didn't like kids. The worst part is not only did they take it that way but they told other people that too. So now there is like this giant rumor going around other churches that I don't like kids! Of course my congregation knows that's not true and Jeff of course knows it's not true. He even said if it gets back to him he's going to shut it down immediately and is really sorry that it got taken the wrong way. I still feel bad and tomorrow I have to go help them set up for VBS which means the whole time they're all going to be thinking the wrong thing about me!
It's hard when people don't understand my job or the goals of my job. They think that I'm a minister and should be willing to do everything all the time and while I like the fact that I am considered a minister already I'm not and I'm really not ready to assume all that responsibility. I'm still learning and that above and beyond anything else it what I want them to know and understand.
Other then my misunderstanding things are going great and I'm really happy. I hope to have some more pictures of Pulaski. I have a day off coming up and I want to go to and overlook and take some great shots. Miss all my friends!

2007-06-14T07:58:00.000-07:00

This morning I went to Jeff's house to do some laundry. While taking a side road back to the church I passed by this school on a hill and behind it were the mountains. This is something I don't see everyday and it amazes me that this is how I'm spending my summer. It's a really foggy and overcast day which makes the mountains look especially blue today! I love it!!

Pulpit Time!

2007-06-12T13:05:00.000-07:00

So the church bought me a robe which totally rocks!! I'm so excited every time I put it on....which by the way is more then once haha. I love it! I'm so excited that things are going well. Jeff is really cool and he pretty much lets me figure out what I need and what I want to do. He's always offering to take me places and show me things but at the same time he's really laid back. I read scripture this past Sunday in church and Jeff marked it for me in the big Bible up front but he totally marked it wrong. So I got up there, first time in front of this church to read and the scripture is marked wrong!! Good thing I had read it a couple times before I got up there so I could flip to it quickly. It was funny and everyone laughed it off. I'm preaching this week and I'll admit the lectionary text is driving me crazy!! More later I'll let you all know how it went!

Jessi

Day Off

2007-06-07T08:33:00.000-07:00

I have the day off today! I'm pretty excited because I've been working my butt off and I really do want some time to myself to just chill out and watch TV. I decided to take a walk downtown and find some fun places to hang out. I started out on my little walk and took some pictures as I went. I was really looking for this place called "Coffee By the Book." I didn't know if it was a coffee shop or a book store. Turns out it's a book store that has internet (yay!) and drip coffee which I can live with because it's very cheap. I signed up for a membership so I can drop in and drink coffee and use internet whenever I want! Woohoo.

So here's how my week has been going. I spent Monday and Wednesday at the hospital visiting congregation members. Wow. This is my first experience with Pastoral Care and it's been very eye opening. I know that when I actually have to do my CPE I won't be visiting people that I know or know their whole back story before I want into the room so that makes a little bit of a difference. I'm happy to be meeting and helping people and I have walked out of a few rooms holding back tears but I keep thinking something that a very wise friend said to me, my grief takes away from their grief and it's really about them. She was very right. So I've held myself together and pushed on.

I'm preaching on June 17th and I'm very excited!! I sat down with my committee for my SM210 yesterday and talked with him about how they can help me and how they can pay attention to my sermons and what to be looking for. I have such a wonderful group of people working with me! I know I'm going to learn a lot.

So far, so good. I don't have any SM210 griefs so I consider myself lucky! I hope everyone is doing well.

Above are some pictures of the church, my apartment and the town.

Adventures in Pulaski...the journey begins

2007-06-05T10:45:00.000-07:00

So here I am in Pulaski, Va. I've been here since Saturday afternoon. The first thing I did was meet up with my supervisor at his house and have dinner with his family. He has three kids: 9, 5 & 4. A boy and two girls. They are crazy!! They're so energetic and not in the least bit shy. They immediately introduced me to their cat "Sugar" whom they sort of adopted. We had a "kid friendly" dinner complete with macaroni and cheese (YUM). Jeff (supervisor) then took me to my apartment and I got settled in.

My APT: I love it! I have cable and it's the PERFECT size for just little old me. I have a couch (which I don't have at seminary so I'm excited about that) and a kitchen table and a great size kitchen. The apartment has not been used by the church even though it's owned by a member of the church so all the appliances are new. Never been used. New fridge, stove and microwave. The coffee maker is probably older then I am but it works and they even bought me Starbucks coffee to brew (how sweet!). So I'm very happy. The apartment is probably as old as the one I lived in in Jacksonville so it's great and works out really well. The only real downside is that the bed is super mushy which I'm not used to but I sleep well and hard!

Church: I could throw a rock and hit it! It's so close! I walk there every morning and yesterday I forgot my coffee so I walked back home, grabbed it and made it back in under 5 minutes. My office is in the manse upstairs and I have a really nice view. My committee for my internship is great Jeff even made sure there is a youth on the committee which I totally appreciate.

Town: Pulaski is small. No really, it's like, 10 major blocks, and 2 major roads. I walked here to the library today. I'm really excited that I found some internet and it's only a walking distance away. I LOVE that I can walk everywhere. To tell you the truth it's about 50 times safer then walking everywhere in Jacksonville and there's no telling how much safer it is then Atlanta!!

So far: I did some hospital visits yesterday which was my first experience with pastoral care. It was ok. I'm actually really proud of myself and how I handled it and how well it went. I was a little nervous but I really like Jeff a lot and he was there with me the whole time. I was happy just to get the experience and exposure. I actually plan on dropping by to visit the people we saw again soon.

There's actually a lot to tell but I'm going to wait until I have some pictures to put up. I didn't know if there would be wireless internet at the library when I walked over here so I didn't bring any. The town is beautiful and I'm having a great time. I miss everyone a lot but I especially miss how spoiled I am in Atlanta with the shopping and the internet! Haha! Oh well a summer without internet won't kill me :)

<3 Jessi

Ah No Internet!!

2007-06-05T05:39:00.001-07:00

Ok so tragedy! I have no internet here at the church or in my apartment! But do not worry, updates will be happening I just have to figure out when and where. I went and plugged in to the internet router in the office next door which is not ours. I do hear that there is a great coffee house with internet here in town but I have yet to have some free time. So updates are coming!

Love you all and miss you much!

Jessi

This summer

2007-05-20T15:05:00.000-07:00

Today is the 20th and I don't leave for my internship until June 2nd. I'm going to be writing blogs all summer so everyone can keep up with me! Until then...